As good as Dead… but not quite

I talk of hope severally because hope is all there is to hold on to sometimes. Being a christian hope is all there is without it it is impossible to please God. So I hold on to it even when my faith  is challenged. I have been thinking a lot about faith, this christian thing- assurance of salvation etc. It is not automatic being a believer to be on your merry way to heaven.

Many times I have doubts, questions with no answers. Questions that are not pretty or easy to talk about, but the more I ask them the more obvious my questions seem, almost rhetoric. I have made up my mind, at the end I want to stand and say I have faced everything and I still believe, I have encountered much doubt but I still have hope. Otherwise what is faith if it is never challenged by unbelief? What is courage in the face of safety? What is love in the absence of hate and what is peace if your heart has never known battled with worry?

So here I am, a believer in Jesus who is not afraid of asking questions and not afraid to discover new truths while holding on to the truth that I first believed. The more I question the more some of the convictions I have held have been cast further in stone. Even though being in doubt is scary it has opened up avenues for me to talk about faith without bias, without a superiority complex. I have become a student of faith and a dependent of hope. After all without hope what else is left?  You will find me at the broken and contrite corner, silently whispering, “Lord, help my unbelief”.

Song for the day….


1 thought on “As good as Dead… but not quite”

  1. For me, I have always believed that to be optimally objective in my quest for answers, I have to stand on the island of uncertainty, not of hope, faith or belief in truths I was taught to trust. If at all, I do not hope, I simply swim in the vast waters we call awe.

    Nice piece Nina!

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