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Guess who’s back? Tell a friend!

 

Image result for picture of someone leaping for joy

I have not written in over two years! Two years people! That is way too long. Many things have happened since then, and many others have changed the one thing that hasn’t is my love for exclamations marks!

You know that song slow fade? Yes/no? There is a line in there that says, ‘it’s a slow fade when you give yourself away.’  I can confirm that that is very true. In as much as I have been telling myself that I just stopped writing and it wasn’t a slow fade for me, it truly was a slow fade. It started slow; I stopped believing in half of the things I would write about, I had doubts concerning faith, I questioned whether my writing mattered and so most days I wouldn’t be bothered to sit down and write, I got lazy and comfortable at being lazy, because you all know consistency is hard work. All this built up to me not writing at all, on this blog (as I still write offline) for a whole 2.5 years, the hell?  I slowly drifted from writing.

But now I am back!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been wondering if this name still kicks, nina’s purple diary mmmh. What do you all think? By the way are you still there? Do people still read blogs or has instagram and snapchat taken over the web space?

I have made promise to myself that I won’t write if I am not ready to be authentic and honest, because what would be the need. So I will bare my soul online hahaha and see where that goes, hopefully it means one or two people or thousands will connect, get encouraged, laugh, find truth from the stuff I will write.

Catch you soon!

Love,

Me.

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Jesus knows us by name

Start:

I’ve been reading through the book of John for about 2 months now and I’m blown away by Jesus. His way of going about ministry was and still is astounding. The one thing that I have been noticing mainly is how he calls people by name. When he met Simon Peter for the first time he addressed him by his name. When he raised Lazarus back to life, he called out for him by name. He calls Martha by name too and in Luke he calls Zacchaeus by name as well.

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Names are specific to their owners, that’s what sets one person apart from another in a crowd. There’s a difference in when you address a person generally or by calling out their name. Jesus acknowledges that we are different, he does not view us as a bunch of people on earth but as beloved children. He knows each and everyone of us by name and when he calls us, he does so by name. It’s assuring to know that the God I serve cares to know me as an individual that he calls me to attention by name.

Stop.

#Day 1

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You’re Not a “Plan B” Kind of Girl

This is one of those blog posts you want every woman to read 🙂 and it feels like all the words in it have crossed my mind at one point or another.

ASHLIN HORNE

You deserve better than someone who is afraid to commit to you. It may seem like enough for now. You’re just taking things slow. Oh, how I know those little phrases of “one day” and we just need time.

You believe them.
And I’ve believed them.

But you’re not a “Plan B” kind of girl.

You need to know that you’re not the invisible one standing in the back who gets chosen last.

You’re the girl who the team captain will be frantically hoping doesn’t get picked by someone else before he gets a turn. You’re a first-pick kind of girl. And no one worth having sits back and lets those girls wait around.

‘Cause every good man knows that the good ones get gone fast.

He should be jumping out of his skin in anticipation to call out your name and say “I pick you.”

“But he’s…

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That one dream that scares me so much I am afraid to share with anyone else

dark trees

A little over a year ago my friend asked me a question that has stuck with me to date, I think about it a lot as I process it, I try to  answer it and  harder to believe my own response. She asked what my big dream was, that one dream that scares me so much I am afraid to share with anyone else. Ironic, isn’t it? Why would I then share it with her if I was so scared to share it with anyone? “I am not anyone,” She would have responded. It is amazing when you have one or two friends who have transcended the ‘anyone’ zone and you both know it. Those who provide safe spaces that can’t be afforded by anyone.  Immediately she asked the question, I knew the answer, I knew the dream, because you see dreams like those do not allow you sleep. They wake you up at night, keep you up and follow you throughout the day. I had the answer, but as I was too scared to share it with her, it was too small in a big way, too simple I thought. It had nothing to do with the job or a house or good school. Actually I was more scared of admitting the dream to myself more that to anyone. So I said I hadn’t thought about it, I dint know what it was.

The other day another friend and I sat next to each other in this crowded coffee shop, because the table was too wide to sit across from each other. We talked about everything; from boots to books, God, red lipstick and work. That is the freedom safe space provides: No inhibition.
We then discussed the future, now whenever for a minute I discuss my future in total honesty that nagging big dream, the one that scares me so much I cannot dare share with anyone, let alone allow myself to admit that I have it, crosses my minds. Even if for a second before I shut it out; it shows up. Some days we have the courage to let it be but on others we shut it out, but we all have it whichever the case. As we talked I asked her, “what do you want?” After giving a prelude, she concluded that she didn’t quite know what it was she wanted. I knew she knew what it was, because I would have said the same thing if she had asked.

These dreams scare us, they seem too big or too small, too grand or too mundane; but they are authentically ours. They attract fear or rather they reside in caves clouded by fear, where only brave hearts can go. Fear cuts us out, I say this as a self-professed fear victim: it whispers stubborn lies that sound like truth.

So what’s my ‘that one dream’, the one that scares me so much I am afraid to share with anyone? I can’t say for now, but it has something to do with writing this post.

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Are You Broken? Good.

One Christian Dad

To my broken, hurting, addicted, struggling, at the end of the rope, brothers and sisters.

God did not send his son to die for you because you were good enough.

God did not send his son to die for you because you were strong enough.

Jesus did not suffer the wrath of God and die in your place because you were all right and going to heaven on your own merit.  No. When you were at your weakest, at the appointed time, God rescued you.  When you could not overcome that addiction.  That alcohol.  That lust.  That adultery.  That anger.  That idolatry.  That pride.  When you were dead in your sin, Christ died for you.

This is the staggeringly beautiful good news of the gospel of Jesus.

Are you Broken?

Good.

Now stand up.  Get up!  And stop complaining that you are too weak, or not good enough, or too far…

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Looking up

I do not want to over think the beginning of this post, because if i do I will end up writing a 10 sentence entry for over an hour. Life has been busy lately, busy to the point of counting hours I can and can not sleep. Yet i still find time for social media hehe. Priorities have not yet been set straight in that area, yet it is such a time stealer. Every day I spend so much more time looking down than looking up, at my phone for or whatever constantly refreshing the pages on my phone screen, scrolling up and down but hardly ever looking up. And I wondered if we are all looking down, who is out there living? Who is living??? Who is looking up? Who still has a straight neck and a wide smile that hasn’t been replaces with emojis or a real hearty laughter that cant be described well enough by the letters LOL?

~~~`~

Sometime last week, my phone battery charge died in the morning and I could not access a charger. I looked forward to the day with dread, i was horrified. When I rode the bus that evening I looked around and everyone was looking down I enviously wished I was too. Looking up is too engaging, it might force to get in to a conversation with strangers, get to really laugh and have  time to reflect on our own thought!! (gasp) By the end of the day when my phone finally got charged, I switched it on and realized  I hadn’t missed much.

~~~~`~

When was the last time you sat at a restaurant alone waiting for someone and dint reach out for your phone or any devise to keep yourself busy?

I wonder if we are naturally predisposed to being/pretending to be busy. sometimes we dis-engage so much from ourselves we can not stand being alone, so we log onto our social networks and hope we find people like us who make us laugh and keep us entrained because being alone even in thought is lonely.

But some day hopefully our phone batteries will die in the morning and we will be forced to look up, then within, then up again. We will in silence hear the loud shouts of “our-selves” crying out for attention from “us” and maybe just maybe we will meet ourselves for the first time in a long long time. And we will have a good conversation with ourselves.

Maybe, just maybe, we will enjoy our own company so much we wont mind being alone every once in a while.

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His Love will surely come find us

“Your love is like radiant diamonds
Bursting inside us we cannot contain
Your love will surely come find us
Like blazing wild fires singing Your name”
                                                                                 Needtobreathe, multiplied
What else is there to add? the video to the whole song of course:)

His Love will surely come find us, wherever you are.  Not only is it “like a blazing wild-fire” it is a consuming fire. May we explode by awe of it.